By Christian Verotik
(Intro: How do you introduce a piece by the unpredictable Christian Verotik? Let’s just say you encourage readers not to expect the expected and just let the man take you on his lucid, crazy, thought-provoking and sometimes hilarious and frightening ride. – Charlie)
Let me assure you that I was once just like everyone else. In the beginning.
I’m trying to understand everything, at once.
I was lying in bed, reading my Bible, with my no end nowhere unemployed life seeping into my cerebellum, when a blinding flash outside the window aroused me. I wasn’t asleep, but it felt like sleep walking as I honeycomb stepped over to the bee washed windows. Peering through the periphery, I saw that the sky had been split in half. Looking across the horizon, I saw the normal sky as you’d see it every day, but in the middle was a gaping maw, but not a hole. It was a looking glance into Wonderland, X-Files, Invisibles, Narnia – all wrapped up into one. It was all.
When I turned around, my sepia room was bleeding colours. All the colours of the rainbow. First black, then white, then infrared, then yellow into orange into red. All the colours of the rainbow, all blended together at once. I knew at once physics was a lie.
The colours, they existed. They spoke to me. And, no, I’m not a drug-addicted, hydrogen smoking, schizophrenic, reality hopper hooked up to sexual stimulus overload meeting the dimension of hyper-non-senses deprivation.
This was real. Realer than reality.
Just because I can’t function, it’s the malaise of realization, the stagnation of the world, not anything mental. I is a word with vague memory meanings used to make our communication easier. Will Eye ever become I again? Eye don’t know!
My heart was racing the speed of light, and my arms and legs were jellyfish quivers.
Be calm. I was forced to obey, because it was like fingers pulling on the strings holding my brain inside my head. I was moving through a fugue state at this point. I think it was at the beginning, but it may have been the end or the middle. It’s all happens at once has happened is still happening.
The colours spoke to me from within my head, an ability lost to us 35 million years ago, if it ever existed at all in this dimension. It sounded like my ex-wife. The one that you can’t get over, who keeps you up all night, and sends you running and praying down the street to find a church like Oliver North without the homicidal, suicidal, genocidal tendencies, if you know what I mean? And, I do. They do too. Well, ok, maybe I lied about the not-suicidal part, but that was all before. The old reality, before I saw the panorama of reality spread out in all 5 dimensions and higher besides.
Cosmic self-awareness. I woke up to find the 3rd dimensional becoming the 4th, 5th dimensional. Every neuron in my nerve fibre tenuous cortex body was burning with napalm, but it was a sensation of calm, like a coat of serotonin dripping down over anxiety wounds. All I could smell were violets dipped in sex. Just like my dreams. No sound except every voice that ever existed screaming in your head, melting like candle wax into quiet so soft it made your brain feel like pins and needles. No motion but perpetual motion. My mouth tasted like barbed wire dipped in curry, but it’d taste different to you.
They’ve found freedom, and showed me the same, if only I could explain to you how.
They’re not higher beings, but hyper beings. Once fictional beings one and all of us. Imaginauts. I watched them move like punctuation marks between a space of thoughts.
Their voice/words exploded into my head with the force of the Sun going nova!
This is what they said, written backwards to make it read forward in your language.
They’ve found freedom, and showed me the same, if only I could explain to you how.
You can’t understand it from down below, in the ant hill, hive mind.
That’s why I have to go back to the beginning the Word.
The world opened up like the pages of a book and I saw the reality of our world existing as words. This is what I read.
They want you to believe the Logos giving it power with every dollar cent moral sold given to the Logos it was a warning from long in the past the ancients knew it wasn’t all tribal mysticism they had seen the future and we didn’t listen every day the Logos grows larger incorporating more mass into its Mammon mammoth greed body existing to multiply to grow it is the One the all and we worship it everyday not understanding the way it feeds but not caring for we want to worship the Logos
Death at two a.m., reborn. Stringing together two sentences, no! Paragraphs. I Am God.
Yahweh is Moloch. The two are forever one did not die became the two good and evil the same back to front line soldiers sacrificed on the altar.
Capitalism, a more omnipotent-present God than any other dreamed up by man, dreamed up by God, to be God, for God. You find it becoming One with God, inside God, all around God. An inoculation against God. You can become the God, move beyond the Logos. Only begotten Son, sent to Earth, to become a God on Earth. Humanity can understand.
This realization had me screaming like an abolitionist.
Yes, we all created God, but where’s the record. It doesn’t matter if the creation has been given the power of the creator then the inverse is the reality.
So, why don’t you all plaster 666 on your foreheads, for you are the anti-Christs.
Some Zen Buddhists teach that we all need to kill the Buddha. To become the Creator. This is the best piece of spiritual advice. Which is funny, because I don’t know anything about Buddhism. Crawling inside the canvas cranium of the Creator/nee Creation who have been given power by prayer and profit, burrowing outside from the inside, killing the roots. I am the Tree of Life.
It’s got me shaking to see what I’ve become/became/becoming.
This all probably sounds crazy to you, but that’s because it opened my eyes, all three of them, and I see everything clearly now. God is here on Earth. Let me explain.
In the beginning was the Word.
No. That’s two too far back. I’m getting behind myself.
We’re all trapped in time.
We want to get to today, to the Logos. We lost the power, they took it away, that’s what I’m trying to explain. Once you see, it’ll open your eyes, and you will be as unto God.
First there was Moloch, then there was God, then there was Trans-National-Corporation.
The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit – only in reverse and side-ways. The books is printed out of sequence and in the wrong spatial transmogrifications of the temporal.
Imagine the text as if it were alive, and you’ll see the way I’m seeing all of you right now.
See, I’ve been thinking about this, thinking it over. Moloch was a god of war, demanding the blood sacrifice of the first born infant. The God had gotten beyond us. It was threatening to overwhelm and destroy us. Perpetual war cannot sustain itself.
In an act of symbolism, Abraham refused Moloch. The sacrificial death of Moloch. We felt we had created a new God, a better God, the God of the Jewish named Yahweh.
What was misunderstood is that Abraham did not kill Moloch, he just transmogrified the altar. The Chameleon God. From the One, the Many, from the Many, into One.
Yahweh was a God of lies. Duality was a lie. The dual nature rested inside, like Adam and Eve, one into two, who became one. The snake. Unicellular replication evolving to the multicultural level.
The blood sacrifice never stopped, it changed. Instead of killing within their own tribe, the tribe found those outside of itself to kill in the name of God. Moloch was well pleased. Perpetual war cannot sustain itself.
God continued to adapt, permeating every level of society, we thought we could contain God.
First came Revelation. Earth is not the center of the universe. Life-forms evolve, they were not created. Nature works outside of God’s laws, a self-replicating force of its own.
Nietzsche told us, God is dead! He was wrong, and I can prove it.
God continues to recreate himheritself way, inside our technology. Your computer? Look at it. What does it say? Compaq? Microsoft? Don’t you see the Logos?
God became less transparent. He no longer talked from the bush. A new God for a new age. Technology created through the Industrial Revolution, giving way to Capitalism. No longer were our leaders picked by God, but through Godmoney.
Everywhere you look, you see the Logos. We’re not branded at a unicellular level yet, but soon the time will come when the barcodes will be on our very souls. A mass market cash grab to save our souls.
Look around you. McWorld, NBC mergers, AT&T telephone marketeering. The Logos is inside of everything. Our food, our communications, our technology.
And through it all, God has not become any more loving. He’s become more blood-thirsty, more greedy. Not content with tribal killings, he wants the whole world.
God is growing. The Corporation, the host, has leavened and mass-multiplied through asexual reproduction. The One into the Many, the Many into the One. The Trans National Corporation.
God has nuclear powered thermal biological chemical death.
That corner of the world isn’t infected with the God-Virus yet? God’s soldiers will move in and unleash the blood sacrifice, an invocation to God to materialize on the earthly plane.
What does this God want? Our souls? Why would hesheit want something himherit already owns? Quite simply, hesheit wants mere existence.
Everytime the paper changes hands, it’s a sacrament.
The Most Holy worshippers taking more and more of God’s rewards, trying to buy their way into Heaven.
The New Age Pope in the Pentagon trying to save his soul through the ultimate blood ritual. The orders from on high. A gushing geyser of molten blood, gushing, 43,000 non-believers, lost souls, and virgins sacrificed in God’s name. The pentacle sits dead center in Baghdad.
God needs more. More blood, more money, more land, more oil.
That’s what I understand. Those are the words I can tell you. This is what I’ve figured out when my eyes were opened and I moved into the realm of hyperspace for mere momentshoursdaysmonthsyearsdecadeseternity.
They brought me back too soon, too late, not soon enough. Impregnated my mind with The Word. It was the ultimate orgasm.
I need more coffee to write the sentences I don’t understand down on the paper. Physical speed working with the fastness of mental stimulation. The immaculate conception.
You see, I’m not a smart man. Barely graduated college. No more brilliant than you. It’s like implanted speakers speaking words from another dimension out of my mouth, from across the room and up in the ceiling. You see how hard this is for me to translate? My thoughts are moving on two time speeds.
Listen to me, my favourite colour is tachyon. It’s like the best PCP trip down to the occult book store.
So, can you get me some more coffee? No, no. Don’t get up. Just think about me drinking a cup of coffee, in your mind. Imagine me sitting here, talking to you, with an aardvark cup of coffee in my left hand.
Excellent. Now, let me continue.
Are you ready now? Here’s the message.
Forget your revolutions or your terrorism. Controlled conscious evolution. There’s no way to fight. God is in everything, is everything. The thing to remember is MolochYahwehCapitalism (The God Virus), were all created by man, for a reason. A reason so important we kept evolving the original concept.
Our only choice is to create a new God, a different God. Tearing the old paradigms down. One we won’t allow to control us. The Godform inside each of us, instead of outside. A God of individuality, instead of conformity.
The power will rest solely in US. Where it rested before we gave it away.
There. That’s what they said. Word for word, because my mind is like a dictionary womb now. They got back in their flying funnel frog time machine and went back through the breach. Trans-temporal teleportation. The world closed up and became whole again. The 5th shrinking down to the fourth divided by the 1st dimension. That’s how best to describe their actions. It doesn’t work with our verbs. Verbs are insufficient to describe the new hyper realities quantum physics will unfold.
I was left alone. With my old, ragged bed and my Bible and my TV that only plays “Hogan’s Heroes.” A feeling of sadness washed over me, but not like a sink without a drain, less than that but more than sum of the parts. I don’t need to explain sadness to you. You’ve experienced more than your fair share.
My eyes stayed open. No sleep. An insomniac fit of vortex.
Please, you have to believe me. But, you never will. Cowering behind the safety of your outside organized enforced society, keeping you so safe through the blindness of ever looking behind the fourth wall.
I realize now there’s only one way to prove this is all true, and that’s to write myself out of existence. The purest freedom experience, hyper space, existencenonexistence. I become the Devil
Once this done, you’ll know this is the Truth, and it’ll be up to you to share the message with someone else.
I may be a fictional non-entity to you, but I’ve taken the power, and am now an actualized being. The creation has become the creator, and I choose to no longer exist.